If I had written his goodbye

Dearest one,

It’s time to say goodbye.

I think you and I know that if I had wanted you to be in my future, I would have at least tried to work it out with you.  I just didn't want to.  It really is as simple as that.

I’m sorry for crushing your dreams, but I have my own dreams that I must fulfill.

I wish I could say I’m sorry and it mean enough to ease your pain.

I wish I could give you all the answers to set you free.

But I’d rather some things be left unsaid. Unheard. Unexplained.

I know I've hurt you and although I feel some guilt, it’s what I needed to do to get what I wanted in my life.

I know I broke my promises to you.  Promises that you believed so strongly in.

I know I've lied to you.

I know those lies cheated you out of dreams you had for both of us. But, if we continue to talk, I will continue to lie, which will continue to hurt and confuse you.

I do believe I loved you so much once.  But that was too long ago for me to remember now. 
I realize that it’s not for you.
I can see that you are trying to survive what I have done.  But even that doesn't change my mind.

I did what I had to do to get over you, including changing who you are in my mind.  I’m comfortable holding on to those versions of you, because it makes it easy for me to walk away and get what I want.

It’s not that I don’t care for you.  It’s that I don’t want to love you again.  I don’t want to give us a second chance.

 I want a different kind of life.  One that doesn't involve you, and your juvenile Disney Susie sunshine ways.

So please run along now before I destroy all your good memories of me. 
You and I both know I am always going to get what I want even if it’s at your expense.  I've proven that. 
I destroyed our marriage over that.  Don’t let me destroy anything else. 
This will never end well for you.  It will end well for me. 

Let go.

I’m not your little prince.  You can’t fix this.  Lord knows you've tried. 

I don’t want to be the one who takes care of you. 
I don’t want you to be the one who grows old with me.
I did the one thing to you that you said you didn't believe in.
I divorced you. 

What more do you really need me to do to tell you it’s over and you need to leave.

I hope someday you do find someone who thinks you are super fabulous and appreciates you for all that you are.

That person just isn't me.