It's a weird thing divorce

It's a weird thing divorce.  We were together for ten years.

We fell in love, we shared the same bed, the same dreams... or so I thought.
There was a time we knew each other better than anyone else in the world.
And now?
I don't even know where you were last night.  Or with who.

But in my heart I see my husband on our wedding day. 
I see him at the end of the aisle with tears in his eyes.
And I see him standing beside me alone in the reception room.

I want to ask him how we got from dancing at our own wedding to standing three feet apart from each other complete strangers.
Would he be able to give me the answers I seek?

Marriage comes in phases.  Some good, some not so good.
But you work through things and you grow and you change and you stick by the decisions that you made.  That is your duty as husband and wife.
“knowing that the true magic of love is not to avoid changes, but to navigate them successfully.”

You read those vows with me.
When you felt like things were going bad, it was your obligation as my husband, my partner, my best friend, to tell me so we could work it out.
But you didn't.

Somewhere along the way our marriage stopped being about us.
Me and you and the life we wanted to have got lost.
Or maybe it was just the life I wanted to have.
Because I realize now, the life you wanted to have, didn't include me.
Did it ever?

I cared about your well-being more than I did my own.
I was willing to break my own heart before causing even the smallest hairline fracture in yours.
That was my biggest mistake.
Letting you think you were more important than me.  More important than us.

I want you to understand and take responsibility for what you have done.  I need you to be sorry.
But to feel sorry you have to feel remorse.
It hurts me to know you have no remorse.

What did I do to you to deserve what you did to me?

You have broken my heart.
You have ripped apart my dreams.
You have robbed me of the belief of marriage.

You think time heals all wounds and with enough of it we will be friends.
Time softens pain, but it doesn't erase it. 

I will forgive you but I will never forget what you did.
Of all the people who hurt me, you are the cruelest of all.

I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I love this about me.

Knowing that the people I care about never doubt what I feel about them.
Knowing they go to sleep secure in the knowledge that they are loved.

I just wanted someone to share special moments with.
Someone who loved me as much as I loved them.
I stuck through all your BS hoping we would get back to that.

But that was never your intention.

Sometimes you can’t see the joyful part of your life until it’s gone.
Sometimes it takes a huge loss to remind you about  what you cared about the most.

And sometimes you realize you married someone who could care less.